Noddy And The Magic Rubber – A Sequel For the 21st Century. (more apologies to Enid Blyton)

abbott cartoon

“Rat-a-tat” went Noddy’s door knob. He hoped that it wasn’t Big Ears, the Brownie, he wasn’t ready for company. He’d only just dressed and Big Ears, who’d allways been bossy, was even more so now that he’d been elected Prime Minister.

“Rat-a-tat,” went Noddy’s knocker again.

“Hold on,” called Noddy, before throwing the door open to see Barnaby Monkey. Noddy was not at all pleased to see him. In the past, Barnaby had been a naughty monkey, threatening to cross the floor and saying such silly things that everyone in Toy Town wondered how on earth he got there. Perhaps, he was a present from a deaf relative, suggested one of the other toys.

“Good morning, Noddy,” said Barnaby, barging straight in.

“Good morning,” replied Noddy, stifling a yawn.

“I need your help,” said Barnaby. “It’s about the magic rubber.”

“Ah, that magic rubber which could rub out anything which you stole in Book 9, and then we had to get it back before it fell into the wrong hands, because they could rub out all the wrong things.”

“Yes,” said Barnaby. “That’s the one.”

“Have you lost it again?” asked Noddy.

“Oh no,” said Barnaby. “It’s safe in Big Ears’s drawer. And he’s been using it to rub out everything that Labor did in the past six years – although he’s had a bit of trouble rubbing out that awful Gonski thing. No, it’s perfectly safe. But there’s a problem, and Big Ears wants to talk to you personally so he sent me to collect you.”

Big Ears wanted him to help? How on earth can I help, wondered Noddy, but he knew he’d have to go over. Otherwise Big Ears would be in a foul mood.

“All right,” said Noddy, “let’s go.”

Once Noddy was in his little yellow car, he felt happier. “Parp! parp!” went the car. And Noddy laughed.

“Look,” said Barnaby, “there’s a Greenie on the road, if you hurry, you can run him over!”

“No,” said Noddy. “I know that Brownies like Big Ears don’t like Greenies, but if I run him over, Mr Plod would have something to say.”

“Don’t worry,” said Barnaby. “When Peta the Puppeteer had too much Elderberry Juice, they just let her off because she’s a friend of Big Ears.”

“That wasn’t the reason,” argued Noddy. “It was because…” Strangely, Noddy couldn’t remember the real reason.

“Ah, here we are,” said Barnaby.

Noddy lept out of the car, and ran upstairs to see Big Ears, who was talking on the toy phone. Noddy wondered who he was talking to as this was the only phone in Toy Town, but he waited.

“Ah, Noddy. I was hoping you could help. It’s about this magic rubber,” began Big Ears.

“Yes, Barnaby said that you were using it to get rid of everything that Labor had done.”

“Yes,” said Big Ears, “and it works just fine for that. And it’s worked fine for eliminating our problem with the Toy Boats and any action on climate change. But unfortunately, it’s not working as well when we try to erase our promises.  We’ve rubbed them out in Toy Town, but they keep appearing. Unfortunately, it seems that people have kept them in this place called Cyberspace where the rubber can’t reach.”

“Oh no!” gasped Noddy.

“And that debt thingy. We were just going to wipe it out with a touch of the magic rubber, but Joe the Clown Doll thought we could just make it so big that nobody notices it. Sort of like the way we don’t notice the world.”

Noddy thought this strange, but he didn’t say anything.

“Someone suggested that because you’d had experience with the magic rubber before, you might have some ideas. Like, could we use it to rub out people’s memories?”

“Well,” said Noddy, “I’ll do my best. But I don’t think that the rubber was meant to be used that way.”

Big Ears scowled. He didn’t like it when people told him that he was doing something wrong.

“Leave it with me,” said Noddy.

“All right,” said Big Ears. “You solve this for us and I promise you a great big new road just for you and your car.”

As Noddy left, he felt like he may have been better to tell Big Ears that some things just can’t be rubbed out. Magic rubber or no magic rubber. This was not going to end well!



Categories: Rossleigh

29 replies

  1. Every kindergarten and Yr 1 primary school teacher should read this tale and others similar to their pupils once a term…

  2. Great story. Clever idea .

  3. luv the story….needed a laugh and you have done it again thanks…….

  4. <

    "No new taxes" …. one of "Slick' Abbott's 3 word slogans.

    I think I had better go and see a doctor …. something's wrong with my memory.

  5. And John he’s found a new term for not calling a tax a tax, a co-payment.

    Big Ears can now say he did promise no new taxes and that levies were another name for a tax, but he’s not bringing in taxes or levies but co-payments.

  6. <

    @ME

    I thought I was wrong but it turns out I didn't get it right.

    Confused ?

  7. Yes .Clever.

  8. Good name and certainly appropriate for Julie Bishop who nods everytime big ears speaks

  9. Oh can Abbott keep up with His Lies ? I say No, and anyone that can’t agree must be missing the Point.Good Luck with your right wing rants.

  10. Very nasty bunch, these puppets. Presents for families in a form of (co-payment) TAX, will stop many going to the Doctor, that’s for sure.

  11. I am reminded some years ago of the Margot Kingston web diary, and the construction of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was called “The Scion, the Wheat and the Cabinet”, also the Chronicles of Nadir. It can be found here http://goo.gl/gRPF3Z and is well worth a read.

    As folks read it, they added and the story ended up with quite a few chapters, many of which are bitingly funny. I would recommend searching about the joint for things about Alexander son of Alexander particularly, since this was when #Poodle was still some kind of schoolboy and hadn’t worked out his effect on rich elderly men with newspapers.

    I am amazed at the number of similarities between then and now, and I strongly recommend those with a historical interest, have a look. Perhaps the same could be done here?

  12. And then all the LNP toytown residents were tired and went to sleep wishing that they were adults so that they could tell stories like this.

  13. I wonder how many more co-payments are coming.

    No more handouts to those nasty people who are poor, because of their own incompetence.

    We only reward those who are successful and worthy. They deserve all our support, as they have made the right decisions and worked so hard all their lives.

    We are going to ensure, they learn to stand on their own feet.

    Yes, another fairy tale.

  14. The trouble is, it is hard to pin down Abbott’s lies. He is in the habit of telling each audience what they wanted to hear.

    Did not worry him, that at times, he walked both sides of the fence. He also talks in code, where it is impossible to know what he was saying.

    Three word slogans and motherhood statements told us little.

    Yes, he did say he was a weather vane. He had many versions of his views, on every topic. Yes he was for, yes he was against.

  15. Looking forward to the next chapter Rossleigh. Love your sense of humor!.

  16. so funny had a good laugh , would be funnier if it wasnt true

  17. We can all try to escape the world by make believe to the very end like Roberto Benigni tried to do; in “Life is Beautiful”.Hitlers not in power now but all the same manipulations, deceptions Big picturings, maneuverings for The Conservatives core beliefs are going on.2014 is the year for egalitarians to stand up. I think you can do this by one person at a time by challenging their ignorant views; You may even have to lose your job or lose a friend. We still live in the best of times. Let’s not wait to find out what it’s like to live in the worst of times.

  18. “Like, could we use it to rub out people’s memories?” The magic rubber at work….

    ‘Co-payment’ has a sort of happy ring about it! It feels as if “we all got together democratically and agreed to slice the pie and share it evenly!” Well I am convinced! Or…. losing my memory?

    More LNP GASLIGHTING! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

  19. along with mutual obligations, that I recall seems to go one way.

  20. Years ago I worked in marketing for a large brothel. In an effort to address the issue of people never wanting to use the name of the brothel, we introduced a line of coffee which had the same name as the brothel.

    We termed it “comfort co-branding”. Worked a treat. Can still buy the coffee in fact and the brothel still exists.

  21. Mm, this wouldn’t be FairTrade I suppose…

  22. Ah, I see what you’re getting at. We should start a product with a brand name like Pyne’s Laxatives – in suppository form, because most things he produces – like his response to Gonski – is rather difficult to swallow.

  23. @rossleighbrisbane In fact no. We sourced the coffee from the Atherton Tablelands.

  24. As I have said before and no doubt will again, laughter really is the best medicine 🙂

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