Moon Landing A Fake Reveals Government

TONY Abbott says people are being “hypersensitive” about his comments on housewives doing the ironing.

Although he acknowledged that ironing was not just a woman’s domain, he told a radio station today that in many Australian homes it was still much more common to see a woman with an iron in her hand.

The Federal Opposition Leader said that was the way it worked in his house – because his wife, Margie, wanted him to look neat and he probably wouldn’t do it otherwise.

Mr Abbott made the ironing remark during a visit to a dry-cleaning store yesterday, which he used to warn of higher electricity prices under an emissions trading scheme (ETS).

“What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it’s going to go up in price, and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up,” he said.

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Further, a $1.2 billion shortfall means there is not enough money budgeted to go through with $2.8 billion of deals and offers made under Labor, Mr Pyne said.

“Beyond 2014 we have to implement a new school funding model,” he said.

“It’ll be flatter. It’ll be simpler. It’ll be fair between states and territories and it’ll be equitable for students so that the school funding reaches those who need it the most.”

The government has been criticised for reversing on an election promise. In the election campaign, Mr Pyne and Prime Minister Tony Abbott declared themselves on a “unity ticket” with Labor on the school funding formula proposed by a review headed by businessman David Gonski. Mr Pyne said he would keep not only the funding amount but the model for four years.

On Tuesday he denied going back on his word.

“I made it very clear before the ­election that I didn’t buy up to the Labor Party model,” he said.

“We said that we would have the same funding envelope and we will. But, I also made it very clear that I didn’t support the central command and ­control features that were coming from Canberra and I won’t have that in the model.”

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“The real reason for the introduction of a new school funding model may well be to transfer more federal government funding to state government schools. That suggests the question – is that what the supporters of change should be doing?   

State schools, both primary and secondary are owned by the state government in the state in which they are situated. Every one is operated by a state government. Most of the funds for their activities come from state government. Isn’t that as it should be? Data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics notes that 66 per cent of all school students are educated in government schools. The report on Government Services 2012 indicates that 78 per cent of funding from state and federal governments is spent in government schools.  So where is the inequity?  How does this support the idea that the current system is broken?” 

Carolyn Pyne (Christopher’s wife, in a blog before the election)

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In their joint press conference Mr Abbott described her (Aung San Suu Kyi) as an icon for democracy, saying it was a great honour to meet her.

“I was an opposition leader myself for four years; I know that that position has some exhilarations and some frustrations,” he said.

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“The Emissions Reduction Fund has a specific financial commitment, and Tony Abbott suggested to the National Press Club before the election that this commitment is an absolute funding limit, so there will only be a finite number of projects that receive financing from the Emissions Reduction Fund (and such funding will be retrospective).

It may therefore be unviable for some businesses to take action to mitigate their emissions without upfront funding or confirmation that there will be some pay-back (as is the case with energy efficiency schemes which save costs over the longer term). So, it is reasonable to expect that, in the absence of any significant sticks, the carrots must be juicy enough to commit investors to reducing emissions.”

Clayton Utz Analysis of the Liberal’s Direct Action Plan.

Shortly after Christopher Pyne’s announcement that the new education policy would include an abacus for every student, the Abbott Government has declared that it is suspending all contact with other countries.

“They keep causing us trouble,” a spokesman said. “First Indonesia, then China and now, the so-called United Nations. If they’re going to gang up on us like that, we’d be better off without them.”

When asked about the position of the Foreign Affairs Minister, Julie Bishop in the new scheme of things, the spokesman assured us that she would still have plenty to do, because Australia is “full of foreigners”.

“Our new policy will also reflect many of the ideas that our Beloved Leader developed during his time in exile as Opposition Leader, where he wrote his manifesto against class warfare, Battlelines.   For example, a back to basics approach when it comes to science,” the spokesman declared. “The USA wasting billions of dollars on NASA and all the public got for it was a few fake photos supposedly taken on the moon. We won’t be making the same mistake”.

“We’re conducting a review, but it’s well known that Mr Abbott has never been fully convinced by Galileo’s idea that the earth revolved around the sun. And not just because of Galileo’s dispute with the Church – if the world was round as he claims, why don’t we all fly off it?

“Our new policy with regard to the world will be more Australia focused, and it will be flatter and easier to understand.”

Asked how this would affect the offshore processing of asylum seekers, the spokesman said that as the people would be coming from a place that Australia didn’t recognise, he saw no problem with sinking the boats.

When it was suggested that drowning people was a little inhumane, he replied by saying that they were not drowning people. “We are simply sinking the boats. If people chose not to swim, that’s their choice. And the Government has a clear mandate to stop the boats. It makes no apology for doing what it promised.”

When one of the journalists suggested that it also made no apology for not doing what it promised, the press conference came to an abrupt end.

The Latest Plan to Stop the Boats Doesn’t Need Indonesian Cooperation, says Government.

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Categories: Rossleigh

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16 replies

  1. Heh. I read the headline as “Moon Landing Reveals a Fake Government”. o.O

  2. This is a great article Ross, you are naughty though aren’t you in the way you portray the mob governing us, but i love it. I would not be surprised though if what you said is close to the truth.
    And Matt Martin, Wonderful to read the headline as “Moon Landing Reveals a Fake Government”! From now on i will read it as such too.

  3. I’m tired of “Fake Moon Landing” stories. Yes, it is blatantly obvious that some of the materials released to the public are not legitimate but, to say that we NEVER got there is an insult to rational thinking. There are laser reflective mirrors that we put up there and they can be seen by amateur astronomers from all over the world

  4. Mic, Rossleigh didn’t suggest the moon landing was faked. He’s taking the piss out of the government and the suggestion was used satirically.

    But as an aside, of course the moon landing was real. I don’t buy into the conspiracy theory either.

  5. Just for the record, it’s been discovered that ALL conspiracy theories are made up by a secret group with the aim of making people so worried that they USE more DRUGS and ALCOHOL and write in CAPITAL LETTERS!
    This group owns shares in drug, alcohol and ink companies!
    But keep it secret, as the last few people to mention it, mysteriously disappeared off Facebook.

  6. Wish I had your quick wit rossleighbrisbane. It’s just great to have a good belly laugh on a Friday!
    I just don’t understand how people don’t appreciate you. You can take the piss out of the LNP & their like anytime you like. LOL

  7. ” the central command and ­control features that were coming from Canberra and I won’t have that in the model.” WTF is he talking about, a car? a jet? the Enterprise?Blah Blah Blah Rhubarb Rhubarb, Bullshit bullshit, I’d ask someone to kick him up the arse but shit splatters.

  8. (( grin )) it is good to have a laugh on Friday. Also good not to be growling and indulging in the gnashing teeth while whiting the post.

  9. Did Tony Abbott really say “I was an opposition leader myself for four years; I know that that position has some exhilarations and some frustrations,” to Aung San Suu Kyi? A woman who endured 15 years imprisonment and lives in constant fear of assassination? I’m stunned. Who else in the world would be stupid enough to say something like that He honestly makes George W Bush sound like a well-spoken intellect by comparison.

  10. DC – there are times that people take seriously what I’ve written ironically. Unfortunately, that quote wasn’t one of those times. Abbott actually said that. (If you can’t stand to listen to the whole thing go to the 1min 12 second mark.)

  11. Yup. GW is sounding downright smart and relatively harmless now.

  12. re education funding.
    Surely if the fed govt funds schools whether state or private there must be central control to ensure the money is spent as intended, not on new polo ponies or whatever else principals fancy they need.

  13. It would be funnier if it wasn’t so sadly true.

Trackbacks

  1. Moon Landing A Fake Reveals Government | OzHouse
  2. Outsiders: The Week That Was on AIMN (week ending 01-12-13) « The Australian Independent Media Network

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